Tuesday, December 25, 2007

cooking for 3 days

This year we were making cookies, for two days the 22nd & 23rd. ONLY four batches, but well, that was 10 dozen a day in a 43 year old oven. Remember Bewitched? In black and white? Did you ever look at the oven in her kitchen with the pull out draw? That is the oven I have. Only hers was a double oven, oven is on top with a lift up door. Burners are in a pull out drawer. I have a single oven and only 3 out of 4 burners still works.

Oven runs about 25 degrees hot. But we managed. THEN on the 24th, we made comfort food. FOUR casserole dishes of scalloped potatoes. You know, ham, cheese, potatoes, onions,butter, milk. One dish went home with my son, the last third of another went home with my oldest daughter. I am giving some to my Dad and Step-mom, and everyone last night ate a whole one. Leaving one left, so we don't have to cook for today.

Of the cookies, we filled three gallon bags, one for son, one for Uncle Steve, one for my stepson and his wife, for a gift. A quart bag for a friend. A tin to my oldest daughter. We ate the rest.
ALL that cooking cookies and they are gone.

We have been honing this recipe for 2 days, with each batch of cookies, and setting the oven to the exact temp. I finally have a temp gauge to put in the oven. Considering I have been making these cookies every so often for 40 years. But I didn't have a temp gauge for the oven until this year. LOL I just assumed it was still working correctly. NO WONDER I can't bake pizza without burning it. LOL you can think it, and if you must, just say it! OH DUH

Fruit cookies old family recipe
Set oven 350 cooking time approximate 18 min
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups white sugar
2 cube's butter or margarine very soft.
3 eggs
Splash of vanilla , to taste
8 oz. Apple sauce
Drain & chop 1 can Peaches
Drain & chop 1 can apricots
Nuts (optional)
Chocolate chips small bag.
After all ingredients are together
2 teaspoons Cinnamon
3 teaspoon baking powder (fresh) put in sifter with first flour

ADD flour, sift into mixture, until you get a drop cookie consistency.
No I do not know exactly how much flour, it depends on how much liquid is in the fruit. I have tried over the years to measure, it is never the same.
They are a Cake like cookie, They are not supposed to be hard or crunchy, may only get slightly brown or just around the edges.

Also, they are, strange. When you take a bite, you may be unsure, but you will need to taste another one just to be sure. Then of course that one will not make up your mind either so you will eat just one more. As you sit down to watch TV, write, read or lay in bed, the cookies will call to you. So it will be imperative to get up and get another one. After all, with all that fruit they must be healthy. The cookies have as much sugar as a batch of chocolate chips cookies, but you get so many MORE cookies then you do in a batch of chocolates chips cookies. So the fruit cookies have less sugar per cookie. SEE I told you they were healthy.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Originally written from March to April of 1997, I went in and worked on it again. Funny how something that helped me deal with searching can still bring me to tears.

Screams T. A. Mennie 1997 written before reunion

The screaming echoes though my body
It rips me apart I shudder and shake
My throat is raw I can barely speak
My whispered pleas go unanswered
I beg, I plead, please help me Please.
There is empty silence round me.

I beat at the walls, pounding hard
To make some sense of it now.
My hands ache, bruised and sore
Collapsing slowly to the floor.

My body heaves with sobs
My eyes are raw and red
My cheeks wet from the tears that I have shed
I cannot not stop the pain is great.

Why am I surprised, I held them back
I did not cry when he was taken away
These tears were hidden, stored away
Behind tall castle walls
There my pain and memories reside
That place I could not go
That part of me I could not touch
Afraid of what I would find.

Then one day the cracks appeared
There was no hiding anymore
So now I sit, upon this floor
Sending screams out to the void
I feel me coming apart, there is so much pain.
I hold myself by a fragile cord
Can you see me, from where you are?
Is this the best you saw for me?

I scream for her to help me now
She would not then she cannot now
I need to understand
Help me mama I beg and plead
You hurt us both, you chose this pain

What was the deed, what was the crime?
For the punishment the was given
I couldn't fight I was too young,

He was my baby, he was mine
Then he was gone, it has been such a long time
I have begged her so many times
For answers I shall never hear
She left this earth at 47 and never said a word.


Ah, today, blue skies, few clouds, leaves falling all around.
Staring out the window, watching birds fly, squirrels skitter round.

Children making messes, cleaning up after them.
Looking around, smiles, big hugs from little arms.

Blue eyes in a freckled face,
mischief, giggles, running feet.
Green eyes with determination and grace.
growing tall and free to be whatever she desires to be.
Blonde hair long and fine, intelligence divine.
Eyes so big and blue, color of azure sky.
These are my girls, little to tall.

Blue eyes, blonde hair gone wild.
Motor bikes, water sports.
Brown eyes, brown hair, quick and slim.
Skiing, sports running everywhere.
These are my little men, so far grandma's arms.
How will their lives go?
Will they follow the good road?
Only time will tell what their future holds.

My grandchildren young and old, big and small.
Grandma loves you all.

T.A. Mennie


Friends don't leave friends,
Friends try to help
Friends are too honest
You get mad and yell
Friends are there where you need them
They don't care when wrinkles come
Friends are there when others go away

Friends can drift away,
But when you need them,
All it takes is a letter or a call
Times are the same like no time passed at all.

Friends are there when you need them.
So don't get mad and go
Friends do care, they just want to help
So don't stomp your feet and go.

We are here to stay, so please don't leave us on this day.
Lets change the subject, look out a window,
watch the sky and remember we are here and why.

For a dear friend

Bear Hugs

Bear hugs
big hugs
soft hugs
lighter then air hugs

give me a hug
grandma hugs
baby hugs
bug hugs

scary hugs
merry hugs
barely there hugs
warm summer day hugs

water hugs
air hugs
fairy hugs
too many hugs

imaginary hugs
your hugs
my hugs
be nice hugs

miss you hugs
good bye hugs
need hugs
don't want hugs

pick you hug
I'll send you one
for every hugger
there is a huggee

sometimes being silly is best
The Punishment November 18, 1998

Young, in love, a child.
Ridiculed, demeaned.
Helplessness, loss.
Hurt, pain locked inside.
I don't understand.
I cannot comprehend.
What was the evil deed?
Why was the punishment so harsh?
Why is it wrong to love when you are young?
Why is it wrong to want a child when you are young?
Why must I be forever punished for love and wonder.
Tell me what did I do that was so bad?
What right did you have to change my life forever?
What right did you have to destroy my future?
Who were you, who gave you so much power?
Who gave you power over our lives?

He was my son, my baby, not yours.

The Forever Mom November 25, 1998

I am the mother who should have been.
I am the mother whose soul was torn
I am the mother who was meant to be.
I am the mother who was sent away.
I am the mother of spirit.
I am the mother of dreams.
I am the forever mother.

We are just not the mothers who raised the communal child.
We know that, no one needs to rub it into our hearts.
But we will not be reduced to merely a biological connection.

T.A. Mennie

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I dance in a Dream

I dance in a dream

She steps onto the stage.
Crossing a line from this world to another.
A world of dream, a world of dance.
A world of joy and beauty.

Wrapped in veils of mystery.
She dances, she twirls,
She moves in grace upon the stage

The goddess of dance welcomes her,
Enters her, gives her wings to fly.
Arms lift, veils drift, upon the winds of imagination.

She stops, she sighs, she quivers with inner delight,
She smiles, slowly opens her eyes,
She looks at only one, bringing him into her world.
But which one, which gaze, soon all have entered,
Soon all are amazed..
The joy, the love, grace of her dance has them all entranced.

They who watch are now part of her dream,
Palaces of long ago, sheiks, harems,
midnight rides upon a pure white steed,
Thoughts of love and romance.
Gods old and new,
All who watch, sing praises of delight.

She has entertained their senses
Brought beauty to their eyes
Gave them joy of movement
Pleasure of soul

Soon all is over, as she dances away
Taking with her, her dreams of an imaginary place,
And imaginary time.

By Saroya Poirier
Friday, August 09, 2002



Everyone has issues.
But issues without tissues is just a handful of snot.
So give it a blow then toss it real slow.
You issues will dissolve like new fallen snow.
I just thought you’d all like to know.
For if you try and away they go,
You all will be better for the weather will go.



T. A. Mennie

Gazing at the sky
The clouds drift by,
Blue sky showing though
White, gray, pink tinged from the setting sun.

Gentle winds blow
Clouds moving by
Night comes on the sweep of a cloud
The breath of the wind

Warm, tired
In need of being held
A soft caress

Lost, resting
Help me
Bring me
Release me

Dream, touch
Be my desire
I want what I cannot have
To float upon a cloud
Ode to a teddy bear

This night, lying upon the living room floor, is a dead teddy bear.
Stuffing everywhere, poor bear.
Misty found a hole, in that bear.
She tugged, she pulled,oh that poor teddy bear
Lying there, in his fourth of July wear.
Flat is that bear, his middle just isn't there.
Poor bear he is everywhere.
Misty, wanna play tug a war?

just one word

Have you ever noticed during a conversation, whether it is with one person or a room full of people.
When one word, just one, sends your mind on a downward spiral.
You do your best to keep your thoughts serene.
To keep them clean. But for some obscure reason, it is too late, you mind has started it's downward slide.
Now your task is to not let it show on your face, to, not choke on your drink and spray the person with hot tea or soda.
Soon you find tears running down your cheek. Staying in your seat is now a challenge.
Your mind slipped so low it is now fully ensconced in the gutter and filled with so many naughty thoughts that you dare not speak.

Your laughter has caught the other unsuspecting person off guard. They look at you are if you are from another planet.
You try to explain, but it is simply impossible. The more you talk the more risque your thoughts are.
The more you can see in your minds eye, the things you are thinking. The night is lost, you sit there and giggle to yourself, occasional tears running down your cheek.
Another word has been added to your repertoire for naughty thoughts.
Hollowing laughter spilling from your mouth, as more thoughts inspire you to more visions lurid and just plain funny scenarios .
You just cannot help yourself. Or maybe, I am only a dirty minded person who can't control herself. But I have such fun when it happens.I have embarrassed the hell out of my litter mates in the past. The women I belly dance with, our troupe has been together for almost 30 years. When I am tired, and doing the announcing at an event, I am apt to say just about anything. But, in my defense, there is one other in our group just like me on the microphone, maybe not a naughty as me.
The worst or best part, we LOVE being in front of an audience, saying whatever comes trickling down from our mind and out our mouth.
We are such fools sometimes, we have such a good time.
The comment from people is, "if you are like this sober, what can you possible be like drunk?
Our response, we don't drink, but we would undoubtedly be worse.

my thoughts for the day.