Tuesday, December 25, 2007

cooking for 3 days

This year we were making cookies, for two days the 22nd & 23rd. ONLY four batches, but well, that was 10 dozen a day in a 43 year old oven. Remember Bewitched? In black and white? Did you ever look at the oven in her kitchen with the pull out draw? That is the oven I have. Only hers was a double oven, oven is on top with a lift up door. Burners are in a pull out drawer. I have a single oven and only 3 out of 4 burners still works.

Oven runs about 25 degrees hot. But we managed. THEN on the 24th, we made comfort food. FOUR casserole dishes of scalloped potatoes. You know, ham, cheese, potatoes, onions,butter, milk. One dish went home with my son, the last third of another went home with my oldest daughter. I am giving some to my Dad and Step-mom, and everyone last night ate a whole one. Leaving one left, so we don't have to cook for today.

Of the cookies, we filled three gallon bags, one for son, one for Uncle Steve, one for my stepson and his wife, for a gift. A quart bag for a friend. A tin to my oldest daughter. We ate the rest.
ALL that cooking cookies and they are gone.

We have been honing this recipe for 2 days, with each batch of cookies, and setting the oven to the exact temp. I finally have a temp gauge to put in the oven. Considering I have been making these cookies every so often for 40 years. But I didn't have a temp gauge for the oven until this year. LOL I just assumed it was still working correctly. NO WONDER I can't bake pizza without burning it. LOL you can think it, and if you must, just say it! OH DUH

Fruit cookies old family recipe
Set oven 350 cooking time approximate 18 min
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups white sugar
2 cube's butter or margarine very soft.
3 eggs
Splash of vanilla , to taste
8 oz. Apple sauce
Drain & chop 1 can Peaches
Drain & chop 1 can apricots
Nuts (optional)
Chocolate chips small bag.
After all ingredients are together
2 teaspoons Cinnamon
3 teaspoon baking powder (fresh) put in sifter with first flour

ADD flour, sift into mixture, until you get a drop cookie consistency.
No I do not know exactly how much flour, it depends on how much liquid is in the fruit. I have tried over the years to measure, it is never the same.
They are a Cake like cookie, They are not supposed to be hard or crunchy, may only get slightly brown or just around the edges.

Also, they are, strange. When you take a bite, you may be unsure, but you will need to taste another one just to be sure. Then of course that one will not make up your mind either so you will eat just one more. As you sit down to watch TV, write, read or lay in bed, the cookies will call to you. So it will be imperative to get up and get another one. After all, with all that fruit they must be healthy. The cookies have as much sugar as a batch of chocolate chips cookies, but you get so many MORE cookies then you do in a batch of chocolates chips cookies. So the fruit cookies have less sugar per cookie. SEE I told you they were healthy.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Originally written from March to April of 1997, I went in and worked on it again. Funny how something that helped me deal with searching can still bring me to tears.

Screams T. A. Mennie 1997 written before reunion

The screaming echoes though my body
It rips me apart I shudder and shake
My throat is raw I can barely speak
My whispered pleas go unanswered
I beg, I plead, please help me Please.
There is empty silence round me.

I beat at the walls, pounding hard
To make some sense of it now.
My hands ache, bruised and sore
Collapsing slowly to the floor.

My body heaves with sobs
My eyes are raw and red
My cheeks wet from the tears that I have shed
I cannot not stop the pain is great.

Why am I surprised, I held them back
I did not cry when he was taken away
These tears were hidden, stored away
Behind tall castle walls
There my pain and memories reside
That place I could not go
That part of me I could not touch
Afraid of what I would find.

Then one day the cracks appeared
There was no hiding anymore
So now I sit, upon this floor
Sending screams out to the void
I feel me coming apart, there is so much pain.
I hold myself by a fragile cord
Can you see me, from where you are?
Is this the best you saw for me?

I scream for her to help me now
She would not then she cannot now
I need to understand
Help me mama I beg and plead
You hurt us both, you chose this pain

What was the deed, what was the crime?
For the punishment the was given
I couldn't fight I was too young,

He was my baby, he was mine
Then he was gone, it has been such a long time
I have begged her so many times
For answers I shall never hear
She left this earth at 47 and never said a word.


Ah, today, blue skies, few clouds, leaves falling all around.
Staring out the window, watching birds fly, squirrels skitter round.

Children making messes, cleaning up after them.
Looking around, smiles, big hugs from little arms.

Blue eyes in a freckled face,
mischief, giggles, running feet.
Green eyes with determination and grace.
growing tall and free to be whatever she desires to be.
Blonde hair long and fine, intelligence divine.
Eyes so big and blue, color of azure sky.
These are my girls, little to tall.

Blue eyes, blonde hair gone wild.
Motor bikes, water sports.
Brown eyes, brown hair, quick and slim.
Skiing, sports running everywhere.
These are my little men, so far grandma's arms.
How will their lives go?
Will they follow the good road?
Only time will tell what their future holds.

My grandchildren young and old, big and small.
Grandma loves you all.

T.A. Mennie


Friends don't leave friends,
Friends try to help
Friends are too honest
You get mad and yell
Friends are there where you need them
They don't care when wrinkles come
Friends are there when others go away

Friends can drift away,
But when you need them,
All it takes is a letter or a call
Times are the same like no time passed at all.

Friends are there when you need them.
So don't get mad and go
Friends do care, they just want to help
So don't stomp your feet and go.

We are here to stay, so please don't leave us on this day.
Lets change the subject, look out a window,
watch the sky and remember we are here and why.

For a dear friend

Bear Hugs

Bear hugs
big hugs
soft hugs
lighter then air hugs

give me a hug
grandma hugs
baby hugs
bug hugs

scary hugs
merry hugs
barely there hugs
warm summer day hugs

water hugs
air hugs
fairy hugs
too many hugs

imaginary hugs
your hugs
my hugs
be nice hugs

miss you hugs
good bye hugs
need hugs
don't want hugs

pick you hug
I'll send you one
for every hugger
there is a huggee

sometimes being silly is best
The Punishment November 18, 1998

Young, in love, a child.
Ridiculed, demeaned.
Helplessness, loss.
Hurt, pain locked inside.
I don't understand.
I cannot comprehend.
What was the evil deed?
Why was the punishment so harsh?
Why is it wrong to love when you are young?
Why is it wrong to want a child when you are young?
Why must I be forever punished for love and wonder.
Tell me what did I do that was so bad?
What right did you have to change my life forever?
What right did you have to destroy my future?
Who were you, who gave you so much power?
Who gave you power over our lives?

He was my son, my baby, not yours.

The Forever Mom November 25, 1998

I am the mother who should have been.
I am the mother whose soul was torn
I am the mother who was meant to be.
I am the mother who was sent away.
I am the mother of spirit.
I am the mother of dreams.
I am the forever mother.

We are just not the mothers who raised the communal child.
We know that, no one needs to rub it into our hearts.
But we will not be reduced to merely a biological connection.

T.A. Mennie