Originally written from March to April of 1997, I went in and worked on it again. Funny how something that helped me deal with searching can still bring me to tears.
Screams T. A. Mennie 1997 written before reunion
The screaming echoes though my body
It rips me apart I shudder and shake
My throat is raw I can barely speak
My whispered pleas go unanswered
I beg, I plead, please help me Please.
There is empty silence round me.
I beat at the walls, pounding hard
To make some sense of it now.
My hands ache, bruised and sore
Collapsing slowly to the floor.
My body heaves with sobs
My eyes are raw and red
My cheeks wet from the tears that I have shed
I cannot not stop the pain is great.
Why am I surprised, I held them back
I did not cry when he was taken away
These tears were hidden, stored away
Behind tall castle walls
There my pain and memories reside
That place I could not go
That part of me I could not touch
Afraid of what I would find.
Then one day the cracks appeared
There was no hiding anymore
So now I sit, upon this floor
Sending screams out to the void
I feel me coming apart, there is so much pain.
I hold myself by a fragile cord
Can you see me, from where you are?
Is this the best you saw for me?
I scream for her to help me now
She would not then she cannot now
I need to understand
Help me mama I beg and plead
You hurt us both, you chose this pain
What was the deed, what was the crime?
For the punishment the was given
I couldn't fight I was too young,
He was my baby, he was mine
Then he was gone, it has been such a long time
I have begged her so many times
For answers I shall never hear
She left this earth at 47 and never said a word.