Sunday, January 29, 2012

Butterflies in my Chest

So looking online I see it isn't unusual to feel this sensation.
I thought it odd, very odd indeed since I had never heard of it before.

YES I am calling the doctor and going in to see him. Hopefully tomorrow.

Even odder, over the years, I have woken up asking friends, neighbors, children, grandchildren.
I have asked this question of my oldest granddaughter "Merissa, "did you feel the earthquake?"
Merissa looked at me when I told her what happen the night before saying she remembers me saying that to her.
Some where between fully awake or fast asleep, I would feel the earth move. NO not "that" kind of earth moving.

Recently, okay 4 or 5 days ago. fuck it, last week, I had this sensation.
I was almost but not quite asleep and I say to myself in my own little mind, "its an earthquake".
I have said that ever time I have felt this since my twenties.
Only this time, my mind notches up one notch to waking up instead of going deeper asleep.

My whole body is shivering so minutely that you might not see it if you were standing next to the bed.
Or maybe you would since I felt the bed move.
I am not cold, no muscle contractions, I am completely relaxed.
My body is vibrating, a full body shimmy with no effort on my part at all.
Oh yes after 40 years of dancing I know if muscles are deliberately or thoughtfully involved
or if it is uncontrolled muscle spasms.

Like everyone I have felt my body jerk awake as one muscle decides it must be morning,
or when you over exercise then begin to relax after going to bed.
That is NOT the sensation I felt.

What I felt was, actually relaxing.
"Except the butterflies from breast to stomach, which is a brand new never felt before sensation."
This event has only ever happened when I am in bed at that in-between stage of awake or asleep.
This has never ever happened when I am fully awake.
Not at all, not once.

But those butterflies, they are what concern me most.

Oh yes, Roni, Dale, Michele please do NOT tell anyone what I told you about,
you know what that is.
Exactly what I was doing the hour before I turned out the light to go to sleep.
Please keep your mouths shut. Thank you very much, Mom.

Well you have my news.