leaden

I am dead inside tonight

Harassed belittled demeaned

What’s this what’s that

And he wonders why I am depressed

My body feels leaden succumbing to gravity

“Is it all in her head doc”…..?

What the fuck did he really say that in front of me to my doctor?

They say you shouldn’t marry someone then try to change them.

I never tried to change him, wouldn’t have done any good.

Alcoholics’ are oblivious to anyone but themselves.

I am a night person; I like to clean at night

Read all night, stay up, go to sleep at dawn.

He is a day person.

He tried to change me, It didn’t work.

My chest hurts; I don’t feel I can’t fight gravity

It will have its way with me tonight.

A gray fog is pressing in my head.

Holding back tears that will do no good

I don’t want to fight this battle anymore

But it is really, for me, too late to change it all.

Reality is ugly

Saroya Poirier  January 3, 2013