Drifting

Drifting

quiet introspect 

a shedding of the day

birthing into the night

Drifting 

Unable to anchor

chain cumbersome 

ungraceful heaviness

Drifting

Solitude forgiving

cleansing of the soul

letting go of the lost

Drifting

Confusion grasping

as water though fingers

sinking quicksand

Drifting

Soft light arsing 

bathing in warmth

shivering in the chill

Alone

©Saroya Poirier May 28, 2012 

Love Unrequited

Love unrequited

Love unfulfilled

New love

First love

Lost Love

Happiness

Sadness

Fear

Hiding

Waiting

Unprepared

Young

Scared

Unaware

Artless

Trusting

Disbelief

Eternally lost

©Saroya Poirier

When I am gone

Will you pick up the phone to call me?

Will you wonder what I would say on this particular day?

Will you understand why I related what I learned along my way?

When you need advice will you remember what I taught you?

Will you pass it on to your child, one who may never know me?

Will you understand then why I so often repeated myself?

Our time is shorter then we think, it is over in a flash.

The day came when I realized that my time was not infinite.

That one day, five, ten, twenty years or a few more,

Might be all that is left to me, it was such a surprise.

What happened to forever?

Did I do enough? Did I love enough?

Did I give enough?  Will you remember me?

I often think I missed so much, did I?

Did I make my mark no matter how small?

Will someone say about my life?

“I wish you could have met her, she met so much to me.”

But I won’t be here to know, to hear, and to see on your way.

Just the traces of my existence in the people I love.

 I will always and forever love you.

© Saroya Poirier     May 13, 2012

Mom, grandmother, the one who thinks you are perfect no matter what.

Butterflies in my Chest

So looking online I see it isn't unusual to feel this sensation.
I thought it odd, very odd indeed since I had never heard of it before.

YES I am calling the doctor and going in to see him. Hopefully tomorrow.

Even odder, over the years, I have woken up asking friends, neighbors, children, grandchildren.
I have asked this question of my oldest granddaughter "Merissa, "did you feel the earthquake?"
Merissa looked at me when I told her what happen the night before saying she remembers me saying that to her.
Some where between fully awake or fast asleep, I would feel the earth move. NO not "that" kind of earth moving.

Recently, okay 4 or 5 days ago. fuck it, last week, I had this sensation.
I was almost but not quite asleep and I say to myself in my own little mind, "its an earthquake".
I have said that ever time I have felt this since my twenties.
Only this time, my mind notches up one notch to waking up instead of going deeper asleep.

My whole body is shivering so minutely that you might not see it if you were standing next to the bed.
Or maybe you would since I felt the bed move.
I am not cold, no muscle contractions, I am completely relaxed.
My body is vibrating, a full body shimmy with no effort on my part at all.
Oh yes after 40 years of dancing I know if muscles are deliberately or thoughtfully involved
or if it is uncontrolled muscle spasms.

Like everyone I have felt my body jerk awake as one muscle decides it must be morning,
or when you over exercise then begin to relax after going to bed.
That is NOT the sensation I felt.

What I felt was, actually relaxing.
"Except the butterflies from breast to stomach, which is a brand new never felt before sensation."
This event has only ever happened when I am in bed at that in-between stage of awake or asleep.
This has never ever happened when I am fully awake.
Not at all, not once.

But those butterflies, they are what concern me most.

Oh yes, Roni, Dale, Michele please do NOT tell anyone what I told you about,
you know what that is.
Exactly what I was doing the hour before I turned out the light to go to sleep.
Please keep your mouths shut. Thank you very much, Mom.

Well you have my news.

Happy Holidays

Our winter came today
We see it blue and gray

Ocean tides rising,
The moon presiding

Women dancing gleefully
Under stars shinning brilliantly

Holidays come
Holidays go
Just like Seattle snow

To that white and chilly sight
We stay home in fright
The hills of ice a slippery plight
Fit only for eight reindeer in flight

The warmth of love
The spirit of passion
The joy of giving
In this glorious season


Prose by Saroya Poirier ©2011

Imbroglio

It is okay to do this young, but try it old and you are undone.

Foolish, silly inclined to fun, raucous, wild free that’s how it should be.

As you grow normal it’s said, to poke and prod at every thought.

When you are old the look is different, senile, odd, best to avoid.

As you grow encouragement applies, try it, do it, no matter how inappropriate.

Stayed, respectable is the domain of the aged, respectable is quite acceptable.

Try it, learn it, make mistakes, bring it, leave it. Love it, lose it.

When it is thought you are this or are that, to be something other take’s all aback.

Have you gone where you shouldn’t when many thought you couldn’t or wouldn’t.

Then step aside to do that or this it puts some off not expecting that.

Are you strange or just being you, well sorry you say, it was time for a coup.

For now let’s say, it is quid pro quo sorry you felt it was imbroglio.

©Saroya Poirier December 13, 2011

Personal Therapy

Writing, poetry, dirty ditty's, all out silly stuff,

Some handled carefully

Is my own personal therapy,

A way to get it out,

Not hold it in,

Send it out into the wind

Put it away with logic or none

Discuss it, shout it, and just cry it out

Reason it, find the cause,

Take time to pause

Sit and puzzle it through

Questioning why, why not?

It isn’t anything new

Just old stuff with a new view

Then close that door hide the key

Hoping everyone just lets it be